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What to Know
Prevalence
A significant number of boys and men are victims of sexual violence (Basile et al., 2022, James et al. 2016).
- Almost 1/3 of men in the U.S. and 1/6 of men in West Virginia experience some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime (Basile et al., 2022; Smith et al., 2017).
- Almost 8 in 10 male victims are first made to penetrate someone before age 25; 4 in 10 of them are minors (Basile et al., 2022).
- Among U.S. college students, 7% of undergraduate men and 3% of graduate/professional men experience unwanted sexual contact. Male victims with disabilities experience higher rates than those without disabilities. (Cantor et al., 2019).
- For male victims, perpetrators’ sex varies in part by type of sexual violence. Over 3/4 of male victims of rape report only male perpetrators, while almost 3/4 of males who are made to penetrate report only female perpetrators (Basile et al., 2022). For male college victims who experience sexual penetration or touching, about 1/3 of their perpetrators are male and the rest are mostly female (Cantor et al., 2019).
Reactions
As with other victims, sexual violence against males is an act of aggression and domination by the perpetrator, who uses sex as a weapon against them. Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may have many of the same reactions to such a violation as other victims. For example, they may experience some or all of the following reactions, among others:
- Profound anxiety/panic
- Fear
- Helplessness
- Identity confusion
- Denial
- Rage, anger, guilt and self-blame
- Extreme mood changes and depression
- Numbness and social withdrawal
- Nightmares and flashbacks
- Changes in sleeping and eating patterns
Male victims may also deal with additional emotional reactions due to social attitudes and stereotypes about men and masculinity. For example, they may feel uncertain about their sexual and/or gender identity after a sexual assault. Male victims who are gay, bisexual or transgender may feel that they were being “punished” for their sexual orientation or gender identity. If they were targeted as a member of the LGBT community, they may feel the need to withdraw from that community.
Barriers to Help
The socialization of males in Western culture historically encouraged the repression of feelings of vulnerability and promoted the unrealistic expectation that males can protect themselves from any kind of attack. Boys and men may be silent about their assault out of a belief that they can’t be victims or should not express weakness. As such, male victims may be reluctant to report and seek services due to the following reasons:
- Fear of being judged
- Worry that others will see them as weak or feminine
- Fear of their sexuality and/or masculinity being questioned
- If threats were made against their family by the offender
- To protect their family against societal scrutiny
- Intense feelings of shame, guilt or humiliation
- Confusion if they were physically aroused
- Stigma associated with stereotypes that “males are not victims”
- Unsure of available services or if services are available for males
- Fear of being “outed” if they are gay, bisexual or transgender
It is important to note that just because a victim’s body may have had a physiological response during the assault, it does not mean that he enjoyed the abuse. Erections and ejaculation are physiological responses that occur even in traumatic or stressful situations. Perpetrators often use their victims’ feelings of confusion and shame to maintain control and discourage reporting of the crime.
Gay, bisexual or transgender males may feel that they are to blame for the assault because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Homo/bi/transphobia—fear or hatred of lesbian, gay and bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people—keeps many male survivors from reporting the assault and seeking services. One of the most persistent myths about sexual assault—that it is a sexual act and not an act of power and dominance—is particularly damaging to male survivors because it becomes intertwined with homo/bi/transphobia. Yet, sexual assault is not the result of a male’s sexual orientation, nor will it change his orientation afterward.
Providing Support
Men and boys who have been sexually victimized deserve support to address their needs. Some basic ways to help male victims break through the barriers to getting help:
- Believe them. Try to understand what they are experiencing.
- Listen to them. Let them know they can confidentially talk to you when they are ready. When they do want to talk, be supportive. Don’t judge or blame, regardless of where they were or what they were doing. Clearly tell them, “It was not your fault.”
- Accept their decisions. Help them explore options, but don’t offer your opinions on what they should do. Be patient and allow them to choose their own path to recovery. Respect their choices.
- Help them identify people in their lives that can be a safe support network.
- Help them to recognize that they are victims of a crime. Help them understand that it was not their behavior that caused the assault. The responsibility is that of the attacker who perpetrated violence against them.
- Make referrals based on the victim’s needs and wants.
Resources
References
Basile, K.C., Smith, S.G., Kresnow, M., Khatiwada S. & Leemis, R.W. (2022). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2016/2017 Report on sexual violence. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Cantor, D., Fisher, B., Chibnall, S., Harps, S., Townsend, R., Thomas, G., Lee, H., Kranz, V., Herbison, R. & Madden, K. (2019, revised 2020). Report on the AAU campus climate survey on sexual assault and sexual misconduct. Washington, DC: Association of American Universities.
James, S. E., Herman, J. L., Rankin, S., Keisling, M., Mottet, L., & Anafi, M. (2016). The report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey. Washington, DC: National Center for Transgender Equality.
Smith, S.G., Chen, J., Basile, K.C., Gilbert, L.K., Merrick, M.T., Patel, N., Walling, M. & Jain, A. (2017). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2010-2012 state report. Atlanta, GA: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.