Jump to:
What to Know
Sexual violence, also generally referred to as sexual assault, is any form of unwanted, unwelcome or coercive sexual contact. Non-stranger sexual assault (also referred to as acquaintance rape/sexual assault) occurs when someone that victims know (or are familiar with) forces, coerces and/or manipulates them to participate in unwanted sexual activity.
Stranger sexual assaults do occur. However, most perpetrators target individuals they know – for example, an acquaintance (whether someone they met briefly or have known for a long time), a friend, a date, an intimate partner, a spouse, a classmate, a co-worker, an employee, a fellow student, someone they mentor/coach/teach, a neighbor or a relative. This is true for perpetrators of children and adults.
- Often times, perpetrators are acquaintances or current/former intimate partners. About 39% of persons aged 12 and up are raped or sexually assaulted by acquaintances, 33% by intimate partners, just under 20% by strangers and almost 3% by non-spouse relatives. (RAINN from the National Crime Victimization Surveys, 2010-2016). More than 1/2 of female rape victims are perpetrated by acquaintances and more than 1 in 3 by intimate partners. For male rape victims, more than 1/2 are perpetrated by acquaintances and 1 in 8 by intimate partners. More than 3 in 5 of male victims are made to penetrate by acquaintances and more than 1 in 4 by intimate partners. (Basile et al., 2022)
- For sexual abused children, perpetrators are often parents, other relatives and unmarried partners of parents. (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2018).
- The West Virginia State Police’s 2010 Incident-Based Reporting System indicated that almost 9 out of 10 of victims of sex offenses reported to law enforcement in the State knew their offenders.
Non-stranger sexual assault is a crime that perpetrators typically plan and premeditate. Victims are often selected based on the perpetrators’ perception that they will be able to successfully sexually assault them, that they will not report or, if they do report, they will not be believed.
Perpetrators of non-stranger sexual assault often believe myths such as:
- Women owe men sex if they spend money on them.
- Some women play hard to get and say “no” when they mean “yes.”
- Kissing and fondling means you have to have intercourse.
- Going to their house means you want to have sex.
- If they are aroused, then they must have sex.
- If a woman has had sex with someone previously, that person can have sex with her anytime.
- Women enjoy being pursued by aggressive males.
However, the facts are:
- You have the right to change your mind about having sex.
- Kissing only means you agree to kiss.
- Just because you are in his house, he is not entitled to sex.
- A gift is a gift, not a “down payment” for sex.
- You are not obligated to fulfill someone else’s sexual needs just because they are aroused.
Non-stranger sexual assault is NEVER the victims’ fault, no matter what they wore, where they were, whether or not they fought back or whether or not they were drinking. Perpetrators are 100% responsible for their actions. Sexual assault, including acquaintance assault, is violence where sex is used as a weapon.
Yet, individuals who have been sexually assaulted by someone they know may feel guilty or responsible for the assault, feel betrayed, question their judgment or have difficulty trusting people in the aftermath of the assault. It is important they understand that what they experienced was sexual assault and they are not to blame for what happened.
What to Do if It Happens to You
(Also see the website section, What Victims Need to Know.)
For confidential support, information and referrals at any time, contact your local rape crisis center or call 1-800-656-HOPE. Adolescents who are being sexually abused can also contact the 24-hour National Child Abuse Hotline for assistance and referral at 1-800-422-4453.
- Reach out for help. You are not alone.
- Understand that what happened was not your fault. Talk to someone you trust.
- Get to a safe place.
- Reporting is your choice. If you decide to report the crime, call 911.
- Go to a hospital emergency room for assistance and treatment. Ask if your community has a rape crisis center that sends an advocate to be with you at the hospital to provide support and information.
- You can have a forensic medical exam without reporting the assault to law enforcement (except in cases of minors or some adults with guardians). A free forensic medical exam can be confidentially conducted at a licensed medical facility.
- If possible, do not shower, bathe, douche, change clothes or go to the bathroom prior to a forensic medical exam. Doing so may lose valuable evidence that could be used if the case is prosecuted. (However, if you have already engaged in any of these activities since the assault, don’t worry that it will “ruin” the case. Also, if you have already changed clothing, you can still collect the clothing worn during the assault and bring it with you to the hospital, even if they have already been washed.)
- Protect your health, whether or not you report the sexual assault to law enforcement or have a forensic medical exam. You can consult with your health care provider for information about identification, treatment and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases/infections (STD/STI) and HIV/AIDS, as well as regarding pregnancy concerns.
Resources
References
Basile, K.C., Smith, S.G., Kresnow, M., Khatiwada S. & Leemis, R.W. (2022). The national intimate partner and sexual violence survey: 2016/2017 Report on sexual violence. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2018.) Child maltreatment 2016: Summary of key findings. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.
Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN). Statistics—The offenders. Original source: Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization Survey, 2010-2016 (2017).
West Virginia State Police. (2010). West Virginia incident-based reporting system (WV-IBRS).